Night School
by Josiecat
Summary: After Brad and Janet's escape from the castle, Janet learns some valuable lessons on coping with life's unexpected challenges from an even more unexpected teacher. Finished!
1. Who's sorry now?

OK, the usual disclaimer…I do not own any of the characters appearing in this story. 'Nuff said.

_The silence is deafening._

Although Janet had heard the expression before, she'd never truly understood it. She understood it _now, _though. As she and Brad sat in the back of Dr. Scott's specially equipped van, each leaning against the door to their sides to avoid making any inadvertent physical contact, the air seemed to scream with all the words that weren't being said, all the accusations that weren't being hurled, all the apologies that weren't being made. The effort of holding back those words was almost choking her; by the same token, she didn't think she had the strength to utter them tonight. Too much had happened. Too much had changed. Too much for her to even begin to comprehend, much less deal with.

The chill between Brad and her was mirrored by the chill in the air, and Janet shivered. Brad saw her involuntary shudder and instinctively reached out to her, but quickly pulled back. Janet saw the gesture, and tears filled her eyes. However, she made no move to close the gap between them. It was so much more vast than the width of a car seat; it was as wide and as impossible to bridge as the distance between the person she had been only that morning and the person she now was.

Not that she yet _knew_ that person, mind you.

At long last, yet somehow much too soon, Dr. Scott pulled into the driveway of Brad's small house. When the van stopped, Brad unbuckled his seat belt, opened the door and said quietly, "Thanks for the ride, Dr. Scott."

"You are welcome, Brad. Are you certain you and Janet do not require any medical attention?"

Brad climbed out of the van and shook his head. "No, we're fine. Physically, anyway."

Janet closed her door behind her and walked over to stand next to Brad, hugging herself in a vain attempt to ward off the icy, damp wind blowing right through her scantily clad body. Echoing Brad, she said, "We'll be all right. What about you? Are you sure you don't want to come in for a while?"

Her offer was not altogether altruistic. Although she certainly wanted to provide Dr. Scott with comfort and support if he wanted it, a more compelling motivation was to delay that inescapable moment when she and Brad found themselves alone together.

Unfortunately for the uncomfortable twosome, Dr. Scott preferred to battle his demons in private. "No, thank you, Janet. I believe I need to be alone for a while."

Brad and Janet nodded reluctantly. Brad said, "Okay, we understand. But please call if you need anything. Anything at all."

Dr. Scott sighed. "I will. Goodnight, Brad. Goodnight, Janet."

As one, they replied. "Goodnight, Dr. Scott." Brad closed the van door, and he and Janet watched Dr. Scott back carefully down the driveway and drive out of sight.

Janet had left her car at Brad's but, unfortunately for her, she had left her purse – and the car keys within it – at the castle. When the realization came to her, she blurted out, "Dammit!"

Brad was startled; he'd never heard her curse before. "What is it?"

"The car keys are in my purse, which is on its way to Transylvania even as we speak."

Brad closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead wearily. "Now what will you do?"

Janet looked at the car, rather than at Brad, as she answered. "I can get a set of keys from my parents, but it's too late to call them now." Gazing down at her torn corset and fishnet stockings, she added in a hopeless tone of voice, "I couldn't let them see me like this, anyway."

At her words, Brad looked down at his own floorshow attire, then jerked his eyes away as a wave of shame washed over him. Forcing himself to look at Janet, he replied, "No, I guess you can't." He was silent a moment before issuing the inevitable, if reluctant, invitation. "You can stay at my place tonight, if you want."

Janet smiled slightly as she voiced the thought going through both their heads. "I guess I don't have much choice, do I?"

Brad's smile was as faint as Janet's. "No, I guess you don't."

As they walked up to the door, Brad said, "You can sleep in my bed. I'll stay on the sofa."

By the time he finished his sentence, he'd opened the door, and he and Janet stepped into the living room. As the welcome warmth permeated Janet's body, she worked up the courage to look at her fiancé – he _was _still her fiancé, wasn't he? – and said softly, "You don't have to sleep on the sofa. I don't take up much room. We can share the bed."

Brad was suddenly intrigued by the various shades of brown in his shag carpeting. Finally he answered, in a voice barely above a whisper, but still awash in pain. "No…we can't."

Janet was stricken. However, before she could muster a reply, he added, "I'll just take a quick shower, then the bedroom will be yours. I'll be out in a couple of minutes." Without another word, he quickly walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

In a daze, Janet wandered over to the sofa and sank down. She stared at her engagement ring, placed on her hand by Brad just that afternoon, and the sparkle of the diamond began to blur as tears filled her eyes and began running down her face. It had been love at first sight when she and Brad had seen each other in Dr. Scott's chemistry class, although neither had been assertive enough to approach the other. It took Dr. Scott to bring them together. He'd noticed the longing looks between the two shy teenagers, and paired them up as lab partners in his class…and the rest, as they say, was history. They were so often in each other's company that, for their friends, they almost ceased to be individuals…they were BradandJanet, one never referred to without the other.

And now…what were they now? Her tears began to give way to anger. It was _Frank's _fault. He'd taken everything that was fine, and good, and pure, and tainted it, sullied it, blemished it beyond recognition. God, she'd give anything to turn back the hands of time, to go back to where they'd taken that wrong fork in the road and make things right.

Or would she?

Suddenly her mind was overrun with new images…no, more like new feelings. For all the times she and Brad had "made out," had snuck off to the back row of a movie theatre or a secluded corner of a high school party and kissed until their lips were swollen, she'd never felt _anything _like the sensations that had gone through her body when she'd been with Frank. Even before he'd actually deflowered her, she'd been powerless to resist him. It wasn't so much that she still wanted Frank; she'd seen his self-obsession and casual cruelty, and it chilled her. What she _wanted_ was for Brad to make her feel the way Frank had. But as the tears dripped heedlessly off her cheeks, she realized what she wanted most of all was for Brad to still love her, despite everything that had happened that night.

Wrapped in a cocoon of her own confusion and pain, she didn't even hear Brad emerge from the bedroom. "Okay, Janet, I'm finished."

It was only the last word of his sentence that registered with her. _Finished? _Was he breaking up with her? "Brad, what are you saying?"

He cocked his head and looked at her strangely. "Uh, I'm finished in the shower. The bedroom is all yours."

_Oh. _"Okay, Brad. Thanks." With an effort, she got up from the sofa and made her way toward the bedroom. Stopping at the door, she turned around to say…something. What could she possibly say to erase everything they'd done and seen that night, and make everything right between them again?

Brad was looking at her expectantly. _Come on, Janet, say something. He's waiting for you to say something! _"Uh…sleep well."

_Great…that was just great. You should be a speechwriter, you know that? _As Janet saw Brad's face fall, it felt like a dagger had just been plunged through her heart.

She watched as Brad pasted the world's phoniest smile on his face. "Thanks, Janet. You sleep well, too."

_Fat chance…_

However, not for the first time that night, Janet's body was at odds with her brain. Suddenly, despite the dizzying whirlwind of thoughts and emotions racing within her mind, she found herself completely unable to keep her eyes open. Too tired to even undress, she collapsed onto the bed and almost immediately fell into a deep sleep.

She had no idea how long she'd been sleeping when, without warning, her eyes opened wide. To her astonishment, she realized she was no longer in bed…but where she _was, _she had no idea. She was surrounded by fog, so thick she couldn't even see her own hand in front of her face. _I've never gone sleepwalking before. What's going on? And where on earth am I?_

Even more alarming than those perplexing questions was a third question that popped into her consciousness, without warning and seemingly without provocation. She had a sudden, inexplicable impression that she was…not alone. _Oh, God, who's there?_

Who indeed…


	2. Sleeptalking

Janet was lost and completely panic-stricken. Never had she felt so vulnerable.

Slowly, however, the fog began to dissipate, and she realized she was right there in Brad's house…in his living room, as a matter of fact. Before she could figure out how she'd gotten from the bedroom to the living room, she made out the shape of a person across the room. With a wave of relief, it came to her…everything was all right; it was just Brad, sleeping on the sofa. But as the fog cleared completely, she realized it wasn't Brad sitting there looking at her, his face impassive.

It was Frank.

She yelped in surprise, and his lips curled in an amused yet condescending smile. "Hello, Janet."

Her mouth opened and closed several times, but no words emerged. Finally, she stammered, "You…you…you're dead!"

The smile vanished, and he rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Oh, really? I hadn't noticed. Thank you ever so much for pointing it out to me. Whatever would I do without you?"

She started pacing the room frantically, shaking her head and running her fingers through her hair in a distracted fashion. "This can't be happening. I must be dreaming…"

Frank stood up and grabbed her arm, forcing her to stand still. In a voice dripping with sarcasm, he replied, "Of _course _you're dreaming. Or are you able to come up with another plausible explanation for why you are standing here talking to someone you witnessed getting murdered a few hours ago?"

Her delivery wasn't getting any more polished. "Wha…what are you _doing _here?"

He shrugged. "Don't ask _me. _I am here at the behest of _your _subconscious mind."

For the moment, irritation made her forget her fright. "What the hell do you mean?"

Cocking an ironic eyebrow, he sat back down and purred, "My, such strong language, Janet. I may have to get a bar of soap and wash out your mouth…or at least _some _portion of your anatomy."

Even in her dream, she could feel herself blush scarlet. Angrier at her own reaction to his taunting than she was at him, she snapped, "Never mind that. Just answer my question."

"You are _determined _to be a stick-in-the-mud, aren't you?" He sighed. "Have it your way. All I can tell you is that you apparently feel there is some…unfinished business between us. What that might be, I cannot say."

She frowned. "What, are you claiming that I want you or something?"

He smiled lazily. "I didn't say that…although it is _hardly _outside the realm of possibility."

"Wow, you really have a high opinion of yourself, don't you?"

He chuckled, and despite herself, Janet felt a twinge of longing deep within her at the dark velvety sound. "Of course I do. Why should I not? However, that is beside the point. I simply remember how you behaved when we were…_together._"

This time, Janet felt as if the blush was going right down to the soles of her feet. "You…_manipulated _me."

His smile was utterly lascivious. "I certainly did…and into some rather intriguing positions, I might add."

Annoyance managed to overcome embarrassment, and she felt her face began to cool. "That _isn't_ what I meant."

He snorted. "You don't say. I never would have guessed."

His flippancy made her anger flare up again. "Good God, it's _impossible _to carry on a conversation with you."

He leaned forward and looked at her, an expression of mock regret on his face. "What a pity. After all, there is _nothing _I enjoy more than a good conversation." The lascivious smile returned. "Except for a good…"

Janet jumped in. "Never mind!"

Pouting a bit, he replied, "All right, all right. Obviously a sense of humor is not your strong suit. I will try to behave myself. Otherwise I may find myself trapped here for _hours._"

"Good. That means you'll answer my questions seriously?"

He shrugged. "I suppose so – depending on what they are, of course." He smiled slightly. "So what _are _they?"

That stopped her dead. "Uh…I don't know."

He groaned. "You don't _know? _You summoned me here, and you don't even know what information you are seeking from me?" He shook his head. "How terribly inconsiderate of you."

Janet couldn't believe her ears. "_I'm _inconsiderate? You just took it upon yourself to seduce both me and my fiancé, and _I'm _inconsiderate?"

Her little emotional outburst didn't have quite the effect on him she would have liked. "Yes, that's right. My own consideration, or lack thereof, was not the issue. I was talking about _you. _And _you _are inconsiderate."

Janet crammed as much withering sarcasm into her voice as she could muster. "Oh, I _do _apologize for inconveniencing you…Master."

He winced at that last word. "Ouch." Smiling slightly, he said, "Not bad. Not overly high on the cleverness scale, perhaps, but rather effective nonetheless." The smile faded, and he asked, "All right, have you come up with any questions, or did that little bon mot completely exhaust your capacity for repartee?"

She was still feeling cranky, and the phrasing of his inquiry didn't exactly improve her mood. "You want questions? All right, here's one for you. Why did you seduce Brad and me? _Why?_"

He settled back on the sofa and looked at her thoughtfully. "It's like the old joke, isn't it?

She was confused. "What old joke?"

"Why does a dog lick his testicles?"

Janet fought down yet another blush. "I don't know. Why?"

"Because he can."

For a moment, Janet was completely speechless. Finally, she sputtered, "Be-because he _can? _Are you saying you took not only my virginity, but Brad's, too…just because you _could?_"

He cocked an eyebrow wickedly. "Does there need to be more of a reason than that?"

She was apoplectic with rage. "You destroyed our _lives _on a _whim?"_

His smugness gave way to disgust. "Oh, please. Must you be so _melodramatic? _Why should what happened tonight destroy your _lives? _I did no harm to either of you, and you know it." He rolled his eyes again. "It was only sex."

_"Only _sex? I'll have you know sex actually _means _something to some people."

He was unimpressed. As if humoring a particularly slow-witted child, he asked, "Oh, really? What does it 'mean'?"

"It means two people love each other. It means they express that love by sharing their bodies with each other. It's…sacred."

He laughed out loud. "_Sacred. _Oh, my goodness. If sex is sacred, I must be some kind of god by now."

"I'm not talking about what _you _do. I'm talking about…making love."

He smiled slightly. "So if what _I _do isn't what you're talking about, why should the fact I had sex with you and Brad matter?"

Janet was slightly taken aback. "Well…like I told you, I was saving myself for Brad, and he was saving himself for _me, _too."

"And like I told _you, _you aren't spent yet. You seem to see a difference between sex and lovemaking. If that is indeed the case, the fact you've 'had sex' shouldn't matter. You still haven't 'made love.' And isn't _that _what you are _truly _'saving' for each other?"

Her face the very image of frustration, Janet replied, "You don't understand. You can only lose your virginity once…and I wanted to give that gift to someone who would value it…" She looked away, almost embarrassed to complete the thought in front of him. "Someone who would value _me._"

Cautiously, she looked over at Frank. She was relieved to note he didn't look amused…but she had to admit he didn't look particularly sympathetic, either.

After a moment of what passed for reflective silence – at least for Frank – he answered her. "You should know what they say about the 'best laid' plans…er, no pun intended." Shrugging, he said, "Oh, who am I kidding…of _course_ it was intended. But never mind that. What I _meant_ was that life has a rather nasty habit of not going as planned. I certainly learned that for myself the hard way this evening. All right, so you didn't lose your virginity to someone who loved you. Terribly unfortunate, I am _quite_ sure, but c'est la vie. Despite your best efforts to put all the blame on _me _for that circumstance, however, you must admit you made a _choice _to do what you did. I didn't threaten you. I didn't physically overpower you. I didn't hold a gun – or a laser – on you. I just turned you on. When all is said and done, that is not exactly a bad way to lose one's virginity." His smile reeked of self-satisfaction. "You _cannot _claim you failed to enjoy the experience."

Without thinking, Janet sat down next to him. "Just because it was fun, that doesn't make it right. I mean…the way I behaved. Not only with you, but with Rocky, too. How can I ever forgive myself for that?"

He was starting to look bored with the conversation. "Oh, honestly. How_ do_ you humans get through life without driving yourselves completely insane with guilt? If you wish, call it a mistake. Call it an educational experience. Call it whatever you will, but _get over it. I _have not destroyed your lives. However, it seems you are well on your way to doing that _yourselves. _For whatever reason, it _happened_, and now you have to make a choice. You can simply throw away your entire relationship out of shame, or you can find some value in the experience, actually allow yourselves to _learn _something from it, and _move on_.You both discovered, first hand, that sex is pleasurable. Perhaps you will now be more confident about sharing that pleasure with each other. Is that so terrible?"

Janet tried to come up with another argument, but somehow words were failing her. Could this hedonist sitting next to her actually be…_right? _Was it possible that what she and Brad had done didn't necessarily have to destroy their relationship after all? That if they handled things right, they could actually wind up even closer than they'd been before?

Finally, she looked at him and smiled faintly. "No, I guess it's not so terrible." Taking a deep breath, she said, "Thank you for the…perspective. I think it'll help."

If she was expecting any sentimentality from him, she was disappointed. "Splendid. Does that mean I can leave now?"

She didn't quite know how to answer, particularly since she still didn't understand how she'd gotten him there in the first place. "Uh, I guess so. Where will you go?"

His smile was wicked. "Oh, I plan to spend a considerable amount of time with Riff Raff and Magenta."

Janet was confused. "Why? Don't you hate them for killing you?"

"Of _course _I do. That's the point."

She shook her head in bewilderment. "I don't understand."

He laughed softly. "Poor, naïve Janet. I will not spend time with them because I enjoy their company. I will spend time with them to make them miserable. I certainly hope they enjoy elbow sex, because that will be the only kind of sex they will _ever_ be able to have." He stood up and grinned. "They would have been considerably better off keeping me alive. Freed from the physical limitations faced by the living, I can be _quite _the nuisance if I wish to be, and they will be utterly powerless to get rid of me."

Janet couldn't help but smile back at him. "Well, I hope you have fun!"

He started to leave, but turned back with a mischievous smile. "It may not be easy having a good time…but I always seem to manage." With that, he was gone.


	3. Getting to know you

Author's note: For those who have been reading this story, I apologize for the long delay in posting its conclusion. I had trouble deciding how it should end, and even more trouble actually writing it! Many thanks to those who have posted reviews…it is much appreciated. As an aside to the review questioning how Dr. Scott could drive – there are vehicles equipped with hand controls allowing those without use of their legs to drive. For what it's worth…

Janet woke up with a start. She quickly looked around her, and saw the glow of the moonlight illuminating the bedroom. She breathed a sigh of relief; she really _was _awake this time.

The more she thought about the conversation she'd had with Frank in her dream, the more excited she became. There was no way she could wait until morning…she had to go out there and resolve things with Brad. _Now._

She noticed that Brad had left one of his bathrobes draped across a chair for her. The thoughtfulness of the gesture, so typical of Brad, made her smile. However, she didn't bother putting it on. If all went as planned, a robe was the last thing she was going to need.

Making her way carefully to the bedroom door, she opened it slowly and looked around. As best she could see in the dim light coming through the windows, everything was as it should be. No fog…and no unexpected visitors. Just Brad, curled up in a fetal position on the couch in an attempt to squeeze his tall, lanky frame into a piece of furniture that was much too short to accommodate him.

Janet took a deep breath and moved her hand to the light switch at her side. However, before flicking it and illuminating the room with a harsh glare, she thought better of it. The silvery moonlight would provide a much better atmosphere.

She walked over to the sofa and knelt down. Leaning over Brad, she pressed her lips to his neck. He woke up with a start, hitting his head on the arm of the sofa as he quickly sat up. He looked over at Janet, and his sleep-reddened eyes widened. "Janet, what the hell are you doing?"

She sat next to him on the sofa and put her hands on his shoulders. "Brad, we need to talk."

He shook his head. "_Now?_"

She smiled seductively. "No, not _right_ now. There's something else we need to do first." She pulled her fiancé close and gave him a kiss - a very _passionate _kiss.

After a moment of shocked immobility, Brad finally responded, but his response was not exactly what Janet had in mind. He pushed her away, snapping, "Janet, come on…I'm not in the mood."

Janet wasn't about to give up that easily. She began to unlace her basque, purring, "Well, then allow me to _get _you into the mood."

However, Brad pulled her hands away. "Janet, I'm not kidding. Don't do this."

Janet looked at him, wounded and confused. Men weren't supposed to turn down sex, were they? The only thing her mother had _ever _told her about sex was that men wanted it – all the time – and it was a woman's "wifely duty" to provide it to her husband. All right, so she wasn't Brad's wife _yet, _but after the events of the evening, _that _should hardly be a stumbling block. Suddenly, a blinding flash of the obvious struck her. The "events of the evening" _were _a stumbling block, but for a different reason.

"Brad, I know you're upset and angry about my behavior tonight, and I can't blame you one bit. I wish I could tell you just how sorry I am. It was bad enough when I let Frank seduce me, but when I turned around and seduced Rocky…I can't imagine how much that must have hurt you." Her eyes filled with tears, and she blinked them back furiously. "It's just that…well, I looked on one of the monitors, and I saw you with Frank. I _know _I had no right to get angry, but…"

Brad put his finger to her lips to stop her. "Janet, it's all right. I'm not angry with you. It would be pretty hypocritical of me if I were."

She sat back, completely bewildered. "If you're not angry, what's the problem? You can't tell me you're still holding on to that whole 'saving ourselves' thing."

Brad rubbed his eyes wearily. "Janet, do we _really _have to discuss this now?"

She pulled up the basque and glared at him. "Yeah, I think we do. You let Frank seduce you, but you won't let _me _do it? What's going on with that?"

"Janet, _please, _not now." He started to get up, but Janet grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

"Yes, Brad, _now. _Whatever is wrong won't get fixed until we talk it out." Suddenly, her anger was replaced by dread. "You _do _want to fix things, don't you?"

For a long moment, he was silent. When he finally spoke, he didn't directly answer her question. Instead, he asked a question of his own.

"Janet, don't you wonder why the two of us were still virgins?"

Janet looked at him, wide-eyed. "Why would you ask such a thing? You know we agreed to save ourselves for marriage."

"And _you _know how easily we abandoned that agreement when Frank came into our bedrooms. _Think _about it, Janet. Think about all the times we made out – at parties, at drive-ins, parking at Shadywoods Point – and we never went beyond kissing. We never even _thought _about going beyond kissing. Then tonight, a total stranger…a very _bizarre _total stranger…was able to get both of us to give ourselves to him with no trouble at all. Doesn't that tell you something?"

She stammered, "But…but at first I thought it was you."

"But what about when you realized it _wasn't?_"

"Well…I was frightened, and…"

Brad cut her off. "Did you give in because you were scared? Did he rape you?"

Janet thought back to Frank's words to her in her dream. _I didn't threaten you. I didn't physically overpower you. I didn't hold a gun – or a laser – on you. I just turned you on._ She remembered the new, unfamiliar sensation of arousal, the desperate need she felt for him to possess her body in every possible sense of the word. Softly, she responded, "No. He didn't rape me. I gave in because I wanted to."

Brad nodded silently. "I know." He looked down at the floor, struggling with what he was going to say next. Finally, he added, "I gave in for the same reason…and I think that taught me something about myself I didn't know. Well, not really something I didn't _know…_more like something I didn't want to _admit._"

Suddenly, Janet saw where this conversation was going. The blood drained from her face as she asked, "Brad, what are you saying?"

He forced himself to look at her as he answered. "I'm saying…I'm gay."

Although she'd realized what he was going to say, hearing the words spoken out loud had the same impact as a punch to her stomach. Forcing a laugh, she replied, "Come on, Brad. We've been in love for years. You asked me to _marry _you. You _can't _be gay."

Brad sighed. "A person can be both married _and _gay, you know." He took Janet's hands in his. "Janet, I _do _love you, and I always will. As far as I'm concerned, you're the most beautiful, most wonderful woman in the world. But no matter how much I love you, I've never really _desired _you. Even before Frank really _did _anything, I wanted him like I've never wanted you. I didn't love him, but I had to have him. And when I _did_…well, everything made sense."

Janet's eyes filled with tears. Desperately, she said, "You can't tell me you've just decided, out of the blue, that you're gay. Frank was an incredibly skillful lover. That was why you wanted him. It doesn't mean you're gay."

Brad's own eyes got misty. Blinking back the tears, he replied, "Janet, it's not just 'out of the blue.' It's something I suspected for a long time. I remember how I felt watching the other guys in the showers after gym class. I remember sharing a class with Roger Abbott – you know, he was captain of the football team our junior year – and getting a _huge _crush on him. I tried to ignore all those feelings; I tried to tell myself they were just normal 'growing up' things and didn't mean anything. But even as a kid, I always felt 'different' somehow. Now, after what happened tonight, I can't deny it anymore. Frank _never _would have been able to seduce me if I'd been straight." He pulled Janet close, and she rested her head on his chest. "Admit it, Janet. On some level, you must have known."

She raised her head in astonishment. "How can you say that?"

"I'm not saying you knew I was _gay, _exactly. But you knew I was 'safe'. You wanted to be a 'good girl' who would walk down the aisle as a virgin…but I think you _also _knew you were more interested in sex than you were willing to admit. The fact that Frank was able to seduce you so easily was proof of that – not to mention your urge to seduce Rocky. If you'd been with someone you had sexual chemistry with, you wouldn't have been a virgin so long. Since you didn't have that chemistry with _me, _you could _stay _a 'good girl.' Think about it."

Janet wanted to deny it. She wanted to make Brad take back everything he'd said. She wanted everything to be the way it was before. But she knew that in life, you don't always get what you want.

However, she wasn't quite ready to let go. Pulling back slightly so she could look him in the face, she said, "Brad, we can still get married. Have you read about 'open marriages'? People are married, and they love each other, but they take on other lovers. Maybe that's what we could do. We could move away from Denton, maybe to some big city where nobody knows us. It could work."

Brad shook his head. "It could work until you met and fell for someone else, someone you could both love _and _desire. Suddenly, I'd be nothing more than an obstacle. But in the meantime, we'd have established a whole new life, with a new circle of friends, and a breakup would be messy and hurtful. Janet, I _know _you're scared of being alone. I'm scared, too. But it would be wrong to stay together, when we can't give each other what we need."

Janet disengaged her hands from Brad's and covered her face. When she finally looked up, she saw Brad looking at her anxiously. In a voice barely above a whisper, she asked, "What will you do? Are you going to stay here?"

He sighed. "I don't think so. I can't stand the thought of having to tell everyone here what I just told you. I can't believe I'd ever be able to have a happy life here." He ran his hand through his hair. "I've heard San Francisco is a good place for…people like me. Either there, or maybe New York City."

She stared. "You'd be willing to leave everything and everyone you've ever known, to go to a big city all by yourself, where you won't know anybody?"

He shrugged. "In some ways, I've always felt 'all by myself' even when I was around family and friends I've had my whole life. If I can go to a place where I can be around people who won't think I'm strange, or disgusting, or…evil, because of who I want to sleep with, maybe I'll finally feel 'at home' in a way I never have before."

"What if it doesn't work?"

"Then I'll think of something else. But I _have _to try. I've been living a lie my whole life, and it has to stop. I wouldn't have _chosen _to be gay, not in a million years…but since I _am, _it's up to me to come to terms with it and create a good life for myself in spite of it." He smiled faintly. "Look at it this way. The two of us have even more in common than you realized. We're _both _searching for Mr. Right."

Janet managed to smile through her tears. Suddenly, seemingly without warning, a haunting tune began playing in her head, repeating itself until the significance of the words accompanying the music finally registered with her…

Don't dream it…be it. Don't dream it…be it. Don't dream it… 

Finally, she understood. Brad was taking a chance, seizing an opportunity…being it. As frightening as it was, she realized she would have to do the same. It was no longer enough for her to be "the good girl." She was no longer a mere girl. She was a _woman - _a woman who needed a very special man. A man capable of satisfying both her heart _and _her body. A man who could make her feel safe yet adventurous, loving yet lusty, fulfilled yet ever hungry.

A man who combined Brad's tenderness and Frank's fire.

He would not be easy to find, but success in the endeavor would make everything she'd been through worthwhile…and, Janet suspected, the search itself could bring some unexpected pleasures of its own.

As she and Brad sat side by side, silently staring through the living room window, they saw a sky painted with pinks, corals and lavenders. It was a sky signaling the birth of a new day…

…And of a new life.

_Don't dream it…be it._


End file.
